u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
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I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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