meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize