I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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