...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
