He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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