Who wears a wallet chain?!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
