Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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