Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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