@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
