If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
