hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
