a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Randomize
