so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
