why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
