Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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