Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't put those talents on a resume
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Randomize
