There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
