I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
