he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
