she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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