return my video game
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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