it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
