I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My feet surprised me
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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