Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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