So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
