you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
