dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
