I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
