Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
