gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
