Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
