Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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