Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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