so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
