i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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