Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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