You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
