I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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