I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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