I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
