I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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