I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
