if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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