Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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