I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
