Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
