I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
how drunk are you?
Several
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
