you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
