Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
