Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
