Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
