I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
