someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
