If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
