there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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