I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
