i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
