U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
