elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
