time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i came on her dog
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
this hospital has no fireball
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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