Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
