idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i out mim tonsoeep
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
