the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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